One time in your life you mastered this powerful word… in fact it was your job and remains the job of every two year old. Saying NO!
Going back to saying "No" establishes a boundary to keep other peoples agenda from interfering with yours. You take back control over what you want to do and when. So many of us already find our lives jammed full of stuff to do, you’d think it would be easy to say no.
That two year old soon learned that saying "No" produced a negative result while saying yes got positive results. Many of us grow up to be people pleasers, Saying yes just feels easier than saying no.
We want to avoid the confrontation and anxiety feelings we experienced at that young age
Manipulative people know this and use it to get their way.
"No," is a commendable response. Don’t equate No with rejection… saying ‘No’ doesn’t mean you don’t like the person; you’re just refusing their current request.
When you say, "Yes," when you want to say, "No" you will feel resentful throughout whatever you agreed to do. This causes stress that can show in many ways, lost energy, discomfort, headaches, shoulder tension and restless sleep. You could avoid these symptoms saying "No" in the first place. Life creates enough stress. Why add more?
5 Easy Ways to Say No
1. Start your sentence with the word, "No."
It’s easier to keep the commitment to say, "No," if it’s the first word out of your mouth.
No I’m sorry, my plate is full right now and I wouldn’t do a good job for you.
No, I’m not available (no need for details)
2. Think It Over.
Ask for time to think it over. It maybe something you want to do but need to do but you time to make sure it will fit in your schedule. Perhaps you’re not strong enough to say no right now… this gives you time to mentally prepare yourself to say No. Remind yourself that the decision is entirely up to you.
3. Just Say No.
That’s right just say it. "NO"… no explanation need. You can add "no thank you" if warranted.
If someone asks for information you don’t want to give. Say No. especially those annoying cashiers/clerks asking for phone number, email address while you’re checking out.
Say No to the telemarketer disturbing your dinner… better yet, don’t answer the phone.
A campaign in the 1980’s realized that saying No can keep off a destructive path… You probably know it as the "Just Say No to Drugs" campaign. You’d find big posters in school, subways, billboards, in fact all over. Start your own campaign. Make your own posters with the words "Just Say No" and put them up.
4. Blame it On…
We love to blame other people for our problems so why not blame saying "No" on somebody else…
No, my doctor said I need to start taking it easy (great one to for preserving your personal time).
No, my accountant said I did that one more time (great for unreasonable customer demands)
Don’t use a name, unless that person really said it… keep the "blame" person generic.
5. Act like a Parrot
Especially good for the "manipulator" attempting to guilt you into a yes and/or someone using the "wear them down" method
Example: Request to go for a cup of coffee
"No, I can’t have coffee with you"
We won’t be gone long
"No, I can’t have coffee with you"
You deserve it… you’ve been working hard
"No, I can’t have coffee with you"
Come on I’ll pay
"No, I can’t have coffee with you"
Learning to say "No" naturally takes practice. Start with saying "No" to something everyday.
Productivity Talk focuses on business communication strategies and process improvement in various business niches. Carol’s expert interviews provide various perspectives on how your business can ultimately have the win-wins of happy customers (external and employees), happy stakeholders, and a fabulous bottom line on your balance sheet!
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